I'm not sure as a society why, in general, children are treated so oddly by adults. People tend treat children as if they are unintelligent, lazy, wild, or unmotivated. They treat them as if they are somehow not fully human, not fully capable, not fully deserving of our respect. And, you know what, it's just so weird. Why? Children work harder than any adult I have ever met. They dropped here on Earth unable to even lift their heads, and yet in a couple short years they overcome so much to become so very independent.
“Children are human beings to whom respect is due, superior to us by reason of their innocence and of the greater possibilities of their future.” Maria Montessori
We have recently had to instances where it has become so clear that not everyone is like this. The first, we were at a botanical garden with Nora. She was deeply engaged in a conversation with Henry about the plants we were seeing as we were moving from one room to another. The door way had a divider, which she walked into and fell down. An adult man laughed uncontrollably at her. Thankfully, she was fine, but she did notice the man's behavior.
And, in the second instance, Nora and I were at IKEA together. The lines were huge and she was busying herself among the many items placed in the line are to attract waiting customers. She picked up a small glass candle and brought it to me to smell. It was lovely and despite Nora's desire to purchase it, I reminded her we had enough candles at home. So, she took the candle to a nearby patio set, sat down and was carefully admiring it. A random customer behind me, got out of line, went to Nora, ripped the candle from her hands and start admonishing her for playing with glass. She was telling her how she was going to break it and then the store wouldn't be able to sell it. Nora immediately burst into tears.
In both cases, I intervened as fast as I could. Making comments to both the adults and then checking in immediately with my children. Doing the best I could to model grace and courtesy, while very clearly telling my children that these adults were in the wrong. But, in both cases I was left shocked. Left realizing how differently many adults see children.
So, if you are in public with children, or see a child, don't be like these people we have encountered. Here are some things to keep in mind when interacting with children in public:
- Respect them as you would any adult person, a warm smile and a "hello" go a long way
- Don't laugh at children even when they make mistakes
- Don't comment on their appearance, especially if you think something is out of place
- Ask before touching their bodies
- Trust children (and their caretakers) that they are fully capable of undertaking whatever task they are engaged in
- Don't assume they are out to make trouble
- No need to comment at all about their behavior to them (especially as a stranger)
- Use basic manners when interacting with children
I'm sure there are other things we could add to this list. But, I hope these are some things you can keep in mind when interacting with your children, or others while in public places. Your behavior effects them. And, they deserve better.
Have you or your children experienced these sorts of disrespectful behavior from adults in public places? How do you react?
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