In this place in my life, as a mom of 3 kids, I find that often self-care is at the bottom of my list of priorities. I find that I often place myself last on my own list of priorities. And, you know what I can always tell when that happens. I start feeling like I'm dragging, I get snippy with my kids and I have a harder time seeing the bigger picture in a lot of issues. Basically, without self-care, I find myself unprepared for the realities of parenting three small children.
Obviously, being unprepared is a problem. It's not fair to myself or to my children. Maria Montessori too talked about the importance of a prepared adult. She recognized that adults had a vital and important role in the life of a child. But not just any adult - a prepared adult. Maria stressed the importance of shaping ourselves for this work. For turning our focus not to the child but to ourselves and to the environment. As Montessori said, "the adult himself is part of the child's environment; the adult must adjust himself to the child's needs if he is not to be a hindrance to him and if he is not to substitute himself for the child in the activities essential to growth and development."
So, how do we do this if our own cups are not full? We can't. Self-care is going to be the root of being a prepared adult. This is so hard for me to remember. It's something I have to work so hard to accomplish because it's so easy to put yourself last. This Advent, I've resolved to take one small step each day by carving out some self-care time.
I'm doing it with Waldorf paper stars. I love making these stars, I find it relaxing and fulfilling. And, to make that self-care even more fulfilling, I've teamed up with my wonderful friend Amy (from Midwest Montessori) to make one each day. We get to chat virtually each day, make a star and walk away feeling taken care of, relaxed, and fulfilled. It's not much time, maybe 10 to 15 minutes. But, it's so so necessary.
These stars have a double bonus of making the environment all the more beautiful. And, by focusing on myself and the environment (like Maria calls us to do), what should happen? More purposeful work from the children! I can't tell you the number of times my kids have cleaned that window in the last week. Because when everyone is feeling good about themselves and their environment, purposeful work is happening!
So this holiday season, don't forget self-care. Whether its a big act, or something small, do it. You need to. You're called to. Be the prepared adult.
How are you making time for self-care this holiday season?
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