If you follow me on Instagram, then you know that Teddy has been showing up more and more in his undies in stories and in recent months. Starting when he was around 15 months old (so solidly walking and standing) We slowly started making the shift to undies during the day. I wanted to share a little about the beginning of our potty learning journey and what gains we have seen.
Typically, I would keep my babies bare-bottomed for a long time before using underwear. But, I found with distance learning and big kids on zoom, that was hard this time around. It was too difficult to ensure Teddy wouldn't wander in front of the camera naked or that the big kids would remember not to have their screen on when upstairs. So, he's been in undies more than any of my other kids were at this age.
A few things to know:
- Our goal in using undies at this age is only to give Teddy the opportunity to use the potty and to be aware of how his body is working. I have zero expectations for when he will be done with diapers.
- His timeline is his own. All of my other children were out of diapers full time before 2 so I suspect it will be similar for Teddy, but there is no pressure.
- We take it slowly, he wears undies when we are home and I have the energy, time, and focus to observe and help him. I try for at least a few hour chunk each day, but it doesn't always happen. Otherwise he wears diapers.
- This is not an independent process (yet!) Ted still needs help taking off his undies (which is a big reason I prefer not using them at this age) and I need to lead the way in cleaning up misses.
- There are zero rewards or consequences throughout this process. That will not change. Even if he's 4 and still peeing on the floor!
- I place him on the potty right before we put on undies, then before and after snacks, and if I notice he looks like he needs to go. I do NOT time him or otherwise continuously ask if he needs to go.
At first, Teddy just had no idea what was happening with his body. While we have always walked him through diaper changes, used appropriate language when talking about his body, and modeled bathroom use he still hadn't connected the dots. He seemed genuinely oblivious to the fact that he had gone to the bathroom.
Giving him this early time without diapers has changed all that! He went from peeing (and pooping) without noticing to telling us when he has gone or is going to go. He says "pot-pot" both after and before recognizing what is going on with his body. While he is not wildly successful in using the actual potty, we have seen so many benefits of allowing his this slow transition into the potty:
- There is zero pressure on him, he happily wears undies, sits on the potty and participates in clean up. It's just a normal part of his day.
- He has learned a ton of new vocabulary! He has his own work for pee and poop. He tells us when he has gone in his diaper or on the floor. He knows what undies are, what the potty is, what we mean when we flush.
- He's participating more in getting dressed and undressed.
- He's taking care of his environment and taking pride in that work. He loves wiping up now, and he's working on how to use the spray bottle.
- Every single gain is his own.
I'm so glad we've given him this time and use the Montessori potty learning technique. It may not look like traditional potty training methods, but I find it to be so much more respectful and child led. So much of this method, is really changing my own expectations and rhythm and following my child.
I will share more about our potty learning journey (including our simple potty learning set up) soon. You can read more about Montessori potty learning in these posts - including a whole podcast episode on potty learning!
