As Montessori parents, it's important to understand that we are the prepared adult within our homes. The prepared adult has a lot of responsibility in preparing the environment, setting limits, modeling for the children, and so much more. It's a role that felt pretty daunting to me at first. How was I supposed to be all of these extra things and also the primary caregiver for my children? And it took me a long time to really feel like I could own the role and feel comfortable in it.
I've been a Montessori parent now for 13-years (and a parent for almost 14.) And, while there is a lot of nuance to Montessori parenting, I wanted to share three considerations for anyone using Montessori in their parenting. While there are so many things a Montessori prepared adult can be doing, if you keep just these three things in mind, you'll be in a good position!
3 Daily Essentials for Montessori Parents to Consider
These three things really are essential to your role as a Montessori parent and prepared adult. Whether or not your environment is perfect, or if you feel like you have a lot of work to do, keeping these three things in the front of your mind will help to get to the truly important and revolutionary parts of Montessori.
Observation is Essential to Montessori Parents
The first consideration is observation. Without observing we cannot become Montessori parents. Observation is at the center of our role as Montessori parents. We need to observe:
- Our children - Our observations of our children should drive our preparation of the environment and our response to their behavior. We cannot follow the child if we do not first observe what they are actually doing throughout the day. Where are they able to be independent? Where are they struggling? What skills and interests are they motivated by?
- Ourselves - We must also take time to observe our own feelings and responses/reactions to certain behavior. Our own behavior can influence our children and we must be aware of our behavior as much as our children.
Montessori Parents must show Restraint
As a prepared adult, we need to restrain ourselves. There are so many times where we want to jump in for our children. We want to believe that we know what they should be doing, how they should be doing it. We can do it faster, easier, and with fewer consequences. But, none of that helps our children. As prepared adults we need to learn to sit our our hands so we don't jump in unnecessarily.
“The adult must not interfere, must not act instead of the child. Give him the means and let him act: his freedom consists of this.” Maria Montessori (Speaks to Parents)
We need to learn to wait until our children need us, instead of assuming they do. Independence comes from practice and we must give them space to practice.
Understanding is vital to Montessori Parents
As a prepared adult, our actions must be rooted in understanding. We must take the time to understand the developmental stage that our child is currently in. We have to understand the things that motivate them, and what they are called to work toward. Get my Planes of Development cheat sheet here. For younger children, this includes understanding the sensitive periods that they are currently in. For elementary, it means understanding the characteristics that influence kids at that age.
But, beyond development, we must also understand our individual kids. We need to understand their temperament, their mood, their energy level. We need to consider if they are tired, hungry, sick, or excited. We need to understand their sensory systems. All of these things will influence our children and their capacity to act within the environment.
Again I want to stress that these three considerations - observation, restraint, and understanding - are not inclusive of everything that a Montessori parent needs to do. But if you keep these three things in mine and you'll be doing great work towards becoming a Montessori prepared adult.
